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Southwest Airlines Jokes

A little Airline Humor

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Southwest Airlines

Jokes aside, this aircraft is gorgeous!

Elizabeth R. Mitchell
Southwest Airlines jokes are found all over the Internet. And, if we don't already have enough, the flight crews seem to make up new ones each time I take a Southwest flight. Most of these sites have more airline humor, so click through to their sites and keep on laughing. Me? I'm still trying to figure out what the first joke means. Maybe I should ask that little guy's mom!

Why Don't Big Planes Have Baby Planes?

A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Your mother can explain that to you. Source: Pittsburgh Lovers Website.

Video of the Southwest Hokey Pokey

Link to YouTube. And, then there is the pet squirrel song.

What to Give a Pilot Who Has Everything?

Believe it or not, Southwest Airlines has an "Adopt A Pilot" Program and a blog to go with it! I enjoyed seeing the hand-made tie one school gave their adopted pilot. You will too!

Stand Up Comedy on Southwest

I came across the article, "What Are You a Comedian?" and realized that flight attendant humor is not just off the cuff, but might be part of a real stand-up comedy routine. Melanie Caplan, USA Weekend writer, tells about flight attendant Jeff Simpson who aspires to be a real comedian... Jeff Simpson holds the mic close to his lips as the lights flicker around him. He tries to gauge his unusually small weeknight audience. Tough crowd, but this comedian knows his lines. "We'll be dimming the lights in the cabin," he says quickly. "Pushing the light-bulb button will turn your reading light on. However, pushing the flight-attendant button will not turn your flight attendant on." You Tube Videos of Southwest Humor

An Interview with Southwest Airlines - All About Corporate Culture

The interviewer was amazed and the sense of fun employees have at Southwest Airlines. Here is just a sample:
My favorite experience at Southwest was hearing about the practical jokes that are played on new and seasoned employees. Delta (an interesting name for someone working at Southwest, don’t you think?), a new hire, had to complete and returned a multiple-page application form to the People Department prior to her start date. When she stopped by one day to drop off the forms, the lobby was full of job candidates waiting for interviews. The minute she came into the lobby, all of the candidates stood up and sang all of the verses to the song “Delta Dawn.” The office broke out in hysterics! Source: Funsulting Newsletter

Flight Crew Humor

Among a long list of Flight Attendant and crew quotes, comes these heard on Southwest Airlines:
- From a Southwest Airlines employee....Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, margarine cups will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child...pick your favorite.

- Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.

- Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.

- Once on a Southwest flight, the pilot said, "We've reached our cruising altitude now, and I'm turning off the seat belt sign. I'm switching to autopilot, too, so I can come back there and visit with all of you for the rest of the flight."
Source: Jeff's Jokes

50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this aircraft..." Source: ACTC & N Air Cargo Tracking

Who's Fault Was It?

Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendants' fault.....it was the asphalt!" Source: Aerospace News Website

Fly on over to Page 2 for more Southwest Airlines humor.

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